Week 4 Complete !

Well week 4 is complete but not feeling good about it. Last night I came home from work and I was not feeling well. I felt like I was running a fever. I was cold and achy and just no energy at all. I went to bed fairly early around 9 or so. I got up at 6am as I do everyday but felt like I did when I went to bed. I woke up probably 10 times last night either cold or hot or uncomfortable. I was miserable and I did not feel rested at all. I told myself though if I can still run this morning through this then I can push through more then I thought. So I was determined to try. I had went shopping last night for some warmer running clothes and was successful so that was a big plus. I geared up slowly as I felt horrible but as I moved i felt like i was feeling a little better. By the time I left my fever broke and I was so hot feeling for a little bit. Well I arrived at the track and got ready to get out there. I felt ok at first. Well I did my 5 minute warm up walk and I was thinking this is going to go better then I thought. Well it dinged for my first running interval to start. I took off and kinda felt good, my steps seemed smooth and my legs felt strong for about 20 seconds (LOL). All of the sudden I felt zapped of all energy. I was literally having to start the mental push of mind of matter right away. I was so discouraged I honestly felt so defeated. I thought to myself how in the heck am I going to do the next interval which is almost twice as long as the first. Well the time had come to start that dreaded second run interval. I was honestly thinking God help I want to crawl in a hole and never come out, but I have to do this I cant let my family down who has been so proud of me. Most importantly I can't let myself down AGAIN. I have never seemed to finish things I start very well and this was going to be one of the biggest accomplishments in my life if I can complete this 9 week program. I mean especially with all the walls that have been thrown up from old injuries and sleepless nights and then the cold weather that has happened upon us. So as I was running I just continued to say I can do this it will be over soon just keep moving. Keep moving one leg then the other and the other and the other. I began to feel like a robot in my mind but as well still felt the pain and agony going on in my body. I tried to focus on the robot feeling that my body is a machine and I tell it when to go and when to stop. That long interval ended and I was beat but at least I had a 3:00 minute walk before the next. The terrible thing was I had to repeat both of these run intervals again. The second shorter interval was not too bad I just took a really slow pace, but the longer interval was quite a different experience. By the time the second long interval was about to begin I was feeling so exhausted. I started running it and just told myself this is it after this its over no more running. I pushed and pushed and then another person running was gaining on me and I got prideful and thought I cant let someone pass me when I am running too. So my pride dug up some kind of temporary grit and I started running faster then I have ever ran since day one and it kind felt ok until all the sudden I realized my lungs could not expand large enough to take enough oxygen to power me at this speed and I got very light headed and slowed down and I still had about 30 seconds left to run and I really was concerned because I felt like I was going to collapse. Then I heard the most glorious sound it was my phone dinging the final ding for running. I had made it. I was thinking HOLY CRAP how did I just do that. As soon I as got in my car after the cool down walk I felt so bad. I felt and still feel so drained and wasted of all energy. The feverish feeling came back quickly and I feel like I need to jsut crawl in the bed and cover up, but instead I had to go to work. I do feel like now I know how hard I can push myself and not let excuses get in the way. I am terrified of beginning week 5, which I have heard is the hardest transition of the entire program. Especially after turning in the shortest distance and longest pace of the whole week on the last day before a new week begins. Not sure where the motivation is going to come from but I have to try and I have to give it my all. You will definitely hear about how it goes on Monday.